your one-stop shop for cracky multi-fandom mediocr

A/N: Multifandom short fics done for Tumblr requests. All are PG-ish, at most. Links take you to AO3.

got a new feel; west wing; charlie/zoey, genderswap

can't tell you what i'm feeling; parks & rec; donna/jean-ralphio, telepathy

grubbing in the ashes; elementary; apocalypse

lay there in your brain; suits; donna, amnesia

close your eyes & make believe; downton abbey; richard carlisle/mary crawley, modern au

two men and a baby; big bang theory; accidental baby acquisition

ohio is wine country too, you know; book group; drunk!fic

Title: If I'm Not The Same
Rating: up to PG-13 for language
Length: 4600 words
Fandom: Big Bang Theory
Prompt: Uses the third fifteen prompts in order from the 2010 Paradox-o-rama Fiction Friday thing at sheldon_penny, the link to which I lost long ago.

A/N: Supposed to be an AMNESTY FIC in a shameless copying of damalur but idk, somehow I finished them instead. These are all one-year-later continuations of the AUs in Through the Looking Glass and If It Was So from long-forgotten picture prompts at sheldon_penny. As done as they'll ever get, I guess. iii from all three collections obviously got re-used in Get Rid of Me If You Try!

Read the whole thing on AO3

( But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? )

Title: Life on Mars (It's You and I)
Rating: PG
Length: ~4000 words
Fandom: Big Bang Theory (Penny, Sheldon)
Recipient: jazzfic
Prompt: Space!AU: Sheldon and Penny are part of a select group manning the first human transport to Mars. Eighteen months never felt so long...
Warning: Bears little resemblance to reality or prompt
A/N: For the stupendous jazzfic, who deserves so much better than this. Happy Saturnalia ♥!

Title is from Duet on Mars by John Updike. All the thanks in the world to inkdot for always talking me down ♥♥

Try it on AO3!


( Penny's still not entirely sure what this is, or why they've let her in. )

Title: Get Rid Of Me If You Try (1/3)
Rating: PG-13 (for swearing! gasp!)
Length: ~18500 words
Fandom: Big Bang Theory (Penny/Sheldon)

Summary: Penny Wade's life is pretty much in free-fall. She got fired from what was supposed to be her big break -- after two whole days. Caught her husband in bed with her agent. Had to slink back to waitressing full-time so she doesn't lose her house. Now she's basically been kidnapped by a crazy man with a box, and it's not even the cool TV-show kind of crazy man with a box. If she makes it through the week without killing someone, it will be a miracle.

A/N: Written for bigbangbigbang 2011; this has been, without equal, the toughest writing I've ever done in my life. All the thanks in the world to inkdot for putting up with my endless whining and self-doubt (you're the bee's knees, pip pip!); and to muir_wolf and sinstralpride for their insanely fast, helpful, and wonderful beta work after I struggled for so long to even get a draft out. If any of the seams show, it's because I didn't listen to their advice. And thanks especially to everyone who offered commiseration and support and general not-shooting-me over the last few months of wrestling with this monster. This fic would be drifting to the bottom of the Gdocs toilet if not for the combined awesome of &all of you;. A couple of phrases and technobabble are stolen from Parks & Recreation, Star Trek, Doctor Who and Back to the Future because I couldn't resist; the lines at the beginning are from BBT 1x01; some minor characters and a location are partially based on the saddest job I ever had; and everyone you recognize is someone else's intellectual property, more's the pity. Nobody thank my computer though, unless it wants to cough up all the words it ate. >:(

The GORGEOUS ART is by __hibiscus, who deserved a much better writer, collaborator, and story than she got. Thanks for putting up with me and a million x thank-you for such a gorgeous Penny ♥


Try it on AO3!




( Are you okay? I totally didn't even see you there! )

continued in part two

Title: Get Rid Of Me If You Try (2/3)
Rating: PG-13 (for swearing! gasp!)
Length: ~18500 words
Fandom: Big Bang Theory (Penny/Sheldon)

For notes and thanks, plus all the awesome art, please see part one

( Penny swept her hair up in a ponytail, trying to cool down the sudden rush of heat that flooded through her.  )

continued in part three

Title: DEAD LIKE US (The Fall Such As This Remix)
Fandom: Big Bang Theory
Prompt: Any
Warning: Character deaths
A/N: A remix mix (it's a mixmix?) for slybrunette's awesome fandom-swap!AU Dead Like Us, for sheldon_penny's 2011 PARADOX: THE FINAL FRONTIER remix challenge.

Quotes are from slybrunette's gorgeous original fic, just ... remixed to make a new story. I kinda misunderstood the assignment :|



A FALL SUCH AS THIS
a dead like sheldon/penny mix


( large covers, tracklist, & zip )

For: d_sieya

Title: Eat Your Heart Out, Wolfgang Pauli
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory (Sheldon/Penny)
Prompt: "Awkward, but, S/P bodyswap. And like they have to go to each other’s work and crap."
Length: 4500 words
A/N: Huge, huge thanks to htbthomas and inkdot for the beta & encouragement, and to my own horrific first time taking a drinks order many, many jobs ago. No Austrian physicists were harmed in the making of this fic. For your own safety, have brain bleach ready before viewing the minimix cover at the end. Guests with severe crack allergies should seek alternatives immediately.

Merry Happy, d_sieya! I hope you have a fabulous holiday. Thank you so much for the chance to play with this glorious prompt ♥!

Read it on AO3


( Every morning Sheldon Cooper experiences a brief instant of panic, of unremitting, jaw-clenching, bowel-loosening terror. )



( Bonus minimix! )

Title: Nothing Important Happened Today
Rating: R, for language, death imagery
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory (Penny/Sheldon)
Length: 27000 words
A/N: for the 2010 bigbangbigbang! This is BBT in an XF world with a twist, where absolutely nothing makes sense, including where the hell all these words came from. The title and three lines (you'll recognize them!) are from XF, and in the interest of full disclosure: about 1000 words are from The I in FBI, although some have been changed to protect the unbeta'd.

HUGE THANKS to my beta inkdot for talking me out of the trees when my first draft tried to kill me, and for her judicious enabling when the second draft reared up out of nowhere; to sounding boards extraordinaires the_wanlorn and sparkly_stuff; and to renisanz for picking up a pinch-hit ♥

Thanks also to my co-mods, weasleytook and bekkis (what were we thinking?!), and to everyone who participated in the first Big Bang Big Bang. We had a blast and we hope you did too!

"Agent Cooper?" she called, looking into the gloom. Against the wall that ran parallel to the hallway, there was a desk overflowing with maps and folders, and a boxy computer terminal shoved back out of the way. A dozen multi-colored post-its clung to its square black face. The outline of another desk was just visible in the shadows of the opposite wall.

And every available surface was covered in paper: hanging on the walls, stacked on top of the filing cabinets and all over the floor, stuck to the tiny window set high in the wall so that they blocked out whatever tiny amount of light was trying to struggle through.

"I was just assigned to you," Penny continued as if all of this was totally normal. As if none of it looked like something out of a serial killer's handbook. "I'm Agent—"

A man burst through the doorway in a wheeled desk chair. Backward, with his hands clamped on the padded arms, tie rippling weakly. In his wake, papers fluttered on their tacks and swirled off the nearest desk. Penny ground one heel into the floor and tensed her shoulders, shifting her weight in case she had to defend herself.

So this was "Moonpie" Cooper; Sheldon to his mother, presumably. Advanced degrees out the yin-yang, Criminal Analysis's golden boy burnout, scourge of absolutely no one despite his concerted efforts, nuisance to many, so on and so forth.

(fic @ AO3)

Title: Nothing Important Happened Today 1/3
Rating: R, for language, death imagery
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory (Penny/Sheldon)
Length: 27000 words

For notes and thanks, plus awesome art, please see the masterpost

( After busting her ass through weeks of training— That might have been an overstatement. )

continued in part two

I fell so totally in love with damalur's bigbangbigbang, Like the Rifle, that I could not stop making things for it. Literally. The posting schedule is the only thing keeping me from making more and more and more...

Brace yourselves:
( art & mix )

( resources )

As always, huge-normous thanks to inkdot for patiently talking me through a thousand panic attacks and to the_wanlorn for being the most enthusiastic cheerleader ever ♥♥